Day 2 of the diet:
Yeah.  OK.  I did well until dinner.  Damn C-Dub!!!
Didn’t go to the gym this morning because I couldn’t get out of bed this morning due to middle of the night nookie.
Speaking of which:
Sex last night? Check.  Did I enjoy it?  Maybe I would have if I could have focused on enjoying [...]

The good, the bad,the ugly

The Good:
C-Dub and I went on a date last night.  He got his government check and it was $5 Tuesday at the movies.  Off we went To Fridays and then to see Madea goes to Jail.
My period is over.
The new job is going great.    There is so much to learn!  And it’s so much fun [...]

a new day

Soooooo. My period finally started on Thursday afternoon.  What a relief.  I think I’m going to stay away from that progesterone cream. 
In a moment of clarity(an epiphany if you will) I realized that TTC is messing with my peace of mind.  Badly.  Really bad.  My sanity is at stake here.
I talked to C-Dub about it.  [...]

You know, I’m trying to put things into perspective here. 
Today was a bad day. 
I dreamed this morning that I was holding my baby in my arms.  I woke up, quietly cried in the bathroom, peed on a stick, saw the negative and tried to move on.  My “trainers” at work were both missing in action.  [...]

negative negative negative

I am “not pregnant” according to the clearblue easy test I took this morning.
Not pregnant.
I just want to curl up in a ball and cry.
But nooooo, got to go and be the STRONG WOMAN and provide for my family of two.
Hell, with my luck, I’ll get to tell some unsuspecting infertile that she is pregnant [...]

trials of a strange cycle.

I am trying to not go crazy here.
So after I POAS and got a BFN, I noticed lots of AF like cramping and finally, I felt like AF had started.
Rushed to the bathroom, and placed a pad.  But nothing.  But with the cramping, I wasn’t taking any chances.
But all day, ever time I went to [...]

10DPO

So of course, I couldn’t resist today.  The temps had gone down yesterday, only to shoot back up this morning. 
BFN of course.
I just couldn’t help myself.
But on the bright side, fist sign of a pregnancy symptom: my nipples are HUGE! Now that ’s just weird.

waiting

So I am at 9DPO now.  And not very excited about it.  No imaginary pregnancy symptoms(or real for that matter).  My temps took a nose dive this morning, and nothing else feels different. Except that I am beyond hungry and beyond tired.  Noticed a new pimple today(just love that adult acne!), so that could mean [...]

POAS MANIA!!!!!

Today, I made a horrible horrible discovery at work. 
There are pregnancy tests there.
Hundreds. By the box full.
Do you understand?
I could get there early and POAS ad nauseum if I wish.
WITHOUT HAVING TO PAY FOR THEM!!!!!!!OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN!!!!!
I don’t know  weather to chortle with glee or shake my fists at the sky.
To pee or not [...]

just a thought

I just thought about something.  Should I even be trying to get pregnant when C-Dub has no job?  This doesn’t make sense.