late night ramblings

I was just having a moment reading a post by Baby Smiling.  Why do infertiles/women who have had trouble staying or getting pregnant, feel so guilty when we do?  Why do we feel guilty for complaining about feeling bad?  I try to be so grateful for every pregnancy symptom reminding myself that they all mean that [...]

Another 2 week wait.

So, I have exactly 2 weeks until my ultrasound to see my little baby bean. 
I am nervous, excited, anxious, nervous, excited……….anxious……..
You feel me.
I made an appointment today for one of my patients for her 6 week ultrasound(lucky bitch!) and damn I wished it was me.
But I have to remind myself that good things come to [...]

5 weeks

Today I am pregnant.
I am pregnant today.
Today I am five weeks.
YEAH for us!
I am still scared. 
I just let one more person in on the sacred secret.  That’s 3 people now besides me and C-Dub.  No more!!!
Anyway, no real symptoms except that my nipples are now on fire.  And no one in the world could convince [...]

Today was a good day.

After 7 days of POAS, I didn’t test.  I decided to go on faith.
Today I am pregnant,
I am pregnant today.
Life is good.
It’s going to be hard to hide this at work until I plan to tell anyone(some time way after 13 weeks if I can help it).  About 3 people noticed that I am dead [...]

The Countdown starts…….

Today, I am pregnant. 
I am pregnant today.
Even though I am saying and believing in my mantra, I still took another pregnancy test this morning at work.  It helps that I work in a Doctor’s office and that there are boxes and boxes of them. I took one yesterday and Saturday too.  I am obsessively POAS I know.  [...]

What if?

Hey.
I’m having one of those what if moments.
You know, the what if I wake up tomorrow spotting/bleeding?
What if I wake up tomorrow and have no symptoms?
What if I POAS tomorrow and it’s negative?
What if I go to the doctor a few weeks from now and there is no baby or no heartbeat on the screen?
Again?
What [...]

Show and Tell

Hello folks, It’s time for Show and Tell!
I went to a baby shower for one of my best IRL friends.  She and I had been TTC for what seems like forever.  She got pregnant, and stayed that way.  I got pregnant, and had a miscarriage.  But since she is my friend, I went to her [...]

Welcome ICLW!  There have been big changes around here since last month.  If you check the last couple of posts it will catch you up to date.  I look forward to meeting you all!
But the main purpose of this post is to thank EVERYONE who has given their support in the last few weeks.  I [...]

I wanna thank God, Baby Jesus, Clearblue easy, C-Dub……..

I am walking around in a daze.
C-Dub has been doing fine.  We couldn’t get in any earlier for our appointment, so it will have to be next week.  He seems to have had a load lifted off of him, just by telling me.  We’ve been praying and taking  it one day at a time, and it’s been [...]

I have no words