Posted by: Rose's Daughter | November 26, 2008

Thank you for your prayers.

But it seems that this pregnancy was not meant to be.  The bleeding continued today, I went to the Dr, they did a ultrasound, and there was no heartbeat. 

Now, we wait.  I’ll see what happens this weekend( if I naturally miscarry), and on Monday, I’ll call and maybe go ahead and schedule a D&C if nothing has happened.  If I don’t, I have to go in weekly for them to make sure I am ok.  Another option was cytotec.  It’s a drug they use in pregnancy usually to induce.  So, it would do the same for inducing a miscarriage.

I have some occasional cramps, and have cried myself out.  C-Dub has too.  We’re supposed to have thanksgiving dinner tommorrow with my sister in law.  I really don’t want to, but C-dub wants to try to be as normal as possible.  Normal?  Normal.  How do you act normal when it seems that your world has ended?

I feel as though all my life, nothing has come easy.  Just this once, i wanted, I hoped, I expected just this one thing to be easy.  After all, it took a whole year to get pregnant.  I felt like I had paid my dues.  I guess not.  I’m having a war with myself right now.  On the one hand, I understand.  My mind comprehends that this happens.  But my heart.  My heart is breaking.  And I don’t know how to put it back together.

C-Dub is trying in his own way I guess.  He is supportive, he is devastated too, and doesn’t know how to help me.  Hell, I don’t know how to help me.

And do you know the worst? I have to go to work on Saturday and happily do my job.  Maybe I’ll feel better about it then than I do now.  I don’t know.

Anyway, that’s all for now.  I haven’t told anyone.  I don’t want to ruin anyone’s Thanksgiving. 

I might not check in for a while.  I think I just need some time.

Again, thanks for the prayers and thoughts.

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Responses

  1. I am so, so sorry that this happened. If you need anything, I’m here for you.

  2. I´m so so so sorry!!! no one should go through this! it´s just not fair…..hoping you feel better!

  3. Words can not express how sorry I am. I’m so very sorry that you and C-Dub have to endure this. You guys are in my thoughts and prayers! *Big big hug*

  4. […] I am so sorry! […]


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