Posted by: Rose's Daughter | November 30, 2008

What to write? I’ve been trying to write a post for several days now, and nothing seems to come out.  I am still waiting.  I was hoping (due to the fact that I no longer have insurance) that I would go ahead and miscarry naturally.  But  other than some on and off spotting, nothing is happening.  So tomorrow, I will call the office and schedule the D&C I suppose.  The trick is trying to do it and not miss any work.  Impossible though. 

Horrors or horrors, I got an invitation for a baby shower yesterday.  For this Saturday coming up.  It’s for a friend of mine who had her own miscarriage at 16 weeks and then went on to become pregnant again.  She’s now due in January.  I really was looking forward to it.  Now, I don’t know.  On the one hand, it’s a symbol of hope that I can and will get pregnant again.  But on the other hand, I just don’t know if I can deal with it.

I went to work yesterday.  I prayed hard in the car that I didn’t have to deliver anybody, and my prayers were answered.  I put on a bright cheerful face and I think I fooled everyone.  I haven’t told anyone at work yet, I haven’t figured out how to talk about it out loud without breaking down.  It was bad enough when i had to tell my mother.  I waited until Friday.  No need to ruin anyone else’s Thanksgiving.

Other than the obvious though, I am doing ok.  I am coping much better now.  At least I think I am.

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Responses

  1. I’m so sorry that this has happened. I’m sorry just doesn’t seem sufficient though. I’m not going to say any of the cliche’ things. Just know that I’m praying for you and C-Dub.


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