Posted by: Rose's Daughter | February 7, 2009

Surprise…….and not a good one.

It was a lovely day here in Atlanta today.  So we did what Atlantians do, and went to the park.  Nothing like a park on a Saturday in Atlanta.  It’s beautiful, it’s warm, and it makes you long for spring.

C-Dub and I went to get our taxes done,(didn’t get as much as I wanted, but I’m just glad we don’t owe!) then had lunch in midtown.  It was a perfect day.  Afterwards, while walking in the park C-Dub and I had the “what if?” conversation.  I had been thinking this week a lot about the what ifs.  What if I don’t get pregnant again? Would he be willing to proceed with IUI or IVF?  His response: No.


His stance is that if we are meant to have kids, we will.  He doesn’t want to spend “millions of dollars” on something that is not 100% sure.  He’d rather adopt, or just not have any at all.


His whole point is that I worry too much.  According to him, we’ve gotten pregnant once, we should be able to do it again.  He doesn’t see the big picture:

I’m 32 going on 33.  My eggs are getting old.

It took me year to get pregnant.  And then I miscarried.

He had  never gotten anyone pregnant.  I’d never been pregnant before.  And neither of us has been perfect.

I’m just saying.  I have the feeling that something is not right.

I tried to calm down and I suggested that maybe we should just get tested to make sure.  He’s not on board with that yet either.  I couldn’t argue with him because

A:we were in public and

B: he seemed so unmovable on this that I have decided to take a step back for now.

I am going to give this 6 months.  Or rather, until June.  If I am not pregnant by the end of that month/cycle, I WILL be calling my OB/GYN or maybe I’ll talk to my new boss………..

In the meantime, it’s the 2WW for me.  Hopefully, this will all be stress for nothing.




  1. …it was a BEAUTIFUL day in Atlanta yesterday, and I’m hoping for another one today!…

    …and the REAL decision for moving to IVF takes time. It took my husband 3 months to say ‘yes’ and move on. Meanwhile good luck on your 2WW and hopefully you won’t even have to go there.

  2. I hope it doesn’t come to that and you are pregnant with a sticky baby soon. But I do think it would definitely be worthwhile to get some testing done even if he still doesn’t want to do IUI or IVF. There are other things they can do to check for problems and medications or “fixes” to help you get pregnant before taking those steps depending on your situation. I hope he can be open to that (((hugs)))

  3. Give him time. IVF is an idea that has to grown on you…

  4. This is so hard. I’m going to ditto what is said above and say, give him time. I know it’s scary, but this is just what he is saying today. You have no way to know what next week, month, or year might bring. I’m so sorry.

  5. I agree with Megan, give C-Dub some time. *big hug my friend*

  6. I hope he does come around, I really don’t think he would deny you the dream of kids. Hubbies change their minds with enough coaxing so back off but then do you girl- lay it on thick and do you!

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