Posted by: Rose's Daughter | April 19, 2009

OK.  So I am over being mad.  Mostly.

Now I am just extremely disappointed.  I don’t know what to say or how to get past this.  I was reminded brutally of why I am MAD when I looked at the bills that needed to be paid between now my next paycheck: $962.34.  And then I looked at our bank account:$292.52.

And we still need gas, and groceries………….

You see why I am now upset again.  So, yesterday, after working last week, I got up and went to the hospital for a long extra 12 hour shift.  On a beautiful Saturday when I could have been in the bed, or to the park or anything else.  Instead, there I was, tired with my all day sickness in full effect.  I hate that job.  I was so looking forward to quitting.  In fact, I didn’t even plan to go yesterday.  But off I went, to be the primary breadwinner again.  And then, I had to make a call to my mother.  To borrow money.  I feel so ashamed.  I thought that I would never ever EVER have to ask my mother for money once I moved out of her house.  And I haven’t.  Not for 10 years.  That really really hurt my moral.  Badly.

And there he sits. 

I don’t know what to say to him.  I don’t know how to feel.  I am trying to understand, but me and mine just don’t.  I want to be sympathetic. I’ve tried to be empathetic.  It’s not working.  I am frustrated beyond belief that he has put us in this position.  You know, I never blamed him when he got laid off.  These things happen.    But now……if he doesn’t get this job on Tuesday because of his little issue, who knows when he might get another opportunity?  It took 4 months for this one.  Will we have to wait 4 more? Those unemployment checks will run out by then.

I don’t know what else to say.

I’m supposed to be happy DAMN IT!



  1. I still think a good groin kick would make you feel better. That being said, there do exist some vitamin supplements at GNC (you know, the vitamin stores in the mall) that will clear out your system, I’ve heard. You take like 28 pills the night before, drink lots of water, etc. I have heard from those with experience with this type of thing. I hope this helps! Or that he finds a job with a company that doesn’t require a drug test. Feel better, sweet pea! And add one more kick for me.

  2. If a test comes up, loan him your pee. Empty a visine bottle, rinse it out really well. Put your pee in the bottle on test day. He will need to put the bottle in his underwear next to his skin to keep it body temperature. Use said pee at the drug test.

    DON’T ASK HOW I KNOW THIS – I just know that it works!!

    And I’m loving Nina’s idea of an extra kick!

    LOL 😉

  3. LOL!!!! Don’t think I haven’t thought of this. Right now, he is drinking soooo much water and he took some stuff that is supposed to clean out his system. I am so over it now, I just sit back and laugh. What ever God has for him, is for him. So, hopefully, there will be no need for a drug test on tuesday or if there is, he passes with flying colors.

  4. Optimist. I still can’t believe you got over this so fast. I’m still seething about the blown-up engine I got for my birthday and Valentine’s Day several years ago. Something about a corvette and a pissing match.

  5. I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. Men are so short-sighted sometimes. Ok, all of the time. They never think of how one action can lead to consequences down the road. I hope everything sorts itself out for him soon and that he gets a job soon. You need a break lady!

  6. my husband would run across broken glass barefoot to smoke a little weed right now, he hasn’t been allowed since we started this whole infertility “journey” nearly two years ago. congrats on the pregnancy, those are some fantastic tatas.

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